Saturday, May 8, 2010

When will the British learn ?

The British parliament election results are out and everybody there appears to be perplexed. A hung parliament has emerged from the ballot boxes, and the last time something like this happened there was 36 years ago.
So what? All they need to do is look at how Indian politicians have tackled this with consummate ease. A hung parliament has never been a deterrent for our leaders. They have been able to change their colours of loyalty faster than a chameleon. All that it takes is to follow the rule of four Ds. Here's a simple guide.
1. Defect - The simplest of all techniques.
2. Defy (the voters, that is) - What we said before the polls is a matter of history. We can always change to some other agenda. Even give it a politically correct name of 'Common minimum program'.
3. Deny - That you said something before the polls. Statements like 'there is no question for forming an alliance with XYZ' have to be forgotten and any alliance can then be defended by saying 'politics has strange bedfellows'.
4. Dogged pursuit - of power, what else.

The British could have learned something from a country that they ruled for so long. Maybe we can send a delegation of our politicians there , headed by people like Mayawati, Laloo, Ramadoss, Mamta and of course, Amar Singh. They can solve the problem of 10, Downing Street in a matter of minutes.
Another chance to show that Indians are going to rule the world!


Garima Bhatia said...

This is indeed a commendable exploration :) Sir, I am sure Indians can - not only run India but the whole world. After all, We are the kings of 'jugaad' technology.
Well jotted!

Azad said...

Ha ha ha!!!
indeed! Brits need to learn a lot from from our politicians!!!
Well written. Short. Crisp and smooth~!


Chhaya said...

haha. Amen to that ;)

send one Mayavati there and they will learn all the tricks of the trade in a day!

Journomuse said...

Indeed, your observations are bang-on..But then the politicians here need a crash course on speaking in politically shameless language..I don't think when it comes to behaviour they are far behind our Indian heroes, but the Brit style of functioning like how they drive cars, don't happily acknowledge the kind of aggressive horse-trading that makes Indian elections so colourful...

Mary in India said...

I dunno, are you forgetting India's huge uncontrollable love of money? Just because money gets things done here doesn't make it right. In fact it's the majority of Indians (illiterate non-voting types)who suffer most from this corruption. Not the affluent middle class that can read newspapers and afford a computer.

This video reminds me of my personal experience at the FRO offices in India, where applying for your residency papers should be free...yet we were asked repeatedly to pay money, which we refused. In the end, what should have taken 1 day took 2 months. So, sorry...I cannot agree with you on this one.

Pushkaraj said...

@ GArima, Azad, Chhaya & Journomouse - Thanks for the compliments folks. But I hope you get the sarcasm I intended to put in my post. My views were not about the British, they were about INDIAN politicians.
@ Mary in India - Corrupt politicians have become a part of Indian life, so much that sarcasm can be mistaken for something else! However, I must also say that I am under no illusion about British (or any other, for that matter) poiliticians being clean. Power begets corruption, and that is a universal fact. I cannot beleive that there is no corruption in Britain. Maybe it is not in such blatant visible forms as here, but it is surely there.
On a closing note, I would like to remind us about what Sir Humphrey Appleby tells his junior Bernard Woolley in Yes Minister.
"Ministers come and go. They don't run the country, we civil servants do."