Simplify life - watch TV after midnight

If you happen to have the genes of a bat or an owl (like me) and tend to watch TV in the wee hours of the night, then don't read this. Because you would already know what I am going to say. For others, read on and get enlightened.
Post midnight, there are the following categories of programs available for you.
1. Channels from a certain part of Indian geography (OK OK, I am just being politically correct. Like the news reporters who think they get away by saying "people of a certain community...") that show songs of only one type. And that type is called 'conjug... sorry, communal gymnastics in the rain'.
2. Then there are the omnipresent news channels who show nothing new. What's new in that, you may ask. DON'T ask!

That's all? Is that ALLLL ?? No my dear early-to-bed-early-to-rise friends, that's not all. Don't be disheartened. The third category is actually a VAST category. A category that cynics might write off in one phrase as 'online TV shopping'. But actually it is a mind-boggling cornucopia of products that promise to make your life simple. Here's a sample of what you can get. JUST a sample. This is by no means the complete list.

Gazing into the crystal ball...

I don't claim to be a fortune teller, but this time around, I have decided to look into the crystal ball.

Picture courtesy - Google

So, what will happen to news channels in India tomorrow.....? Here's my prediction.
By 10 am, all channels would have aired (32 times, at least) a shot of the army of cops outside Arthur Road jail.
By 11 am, the channels would work up a frenzy asking the same question again and again. Hindi channels - 'क्या कसाब को मिलेगा फांसी का फन्दा? English - 'Death penalty for Kasab?' CNN-IBN will try to be stylish by saying "eyes of the entire country are now centered on one man. Judge Tahiliyani." Gargi Rawat on NDTV will try (unsuccesfully) very hard to make a serious face, because she can't stop smiling at everything. (Barkha Dutt would be sleeping at this time. She would be preparing for a long night later.)

By this time, India TV and News 24 hours (both entertainment channels actually, but masquerading as news channels) would have whipped up some crazy Hindi catchline. I can't quite clearly see in the crystal ball. Even the ball has difficulty predicting these two channels.....
By 11.30, the news will erupt. Judge Tahiliyani will pronounce death sentence to Kasab for 3 out of 86 charges, life imprisonment for 36 out of the remaining 83, and rigorous imprisonment of 10 years for the remaining 47. And all hell will break loose. कसाब को फांसी . Kasab gets death sentence. News for Kasab. Sorry, noose for Kasab. छब्बीस ग्यारह के आतंकी को मौत का फरमान. Etc. etc. etc.
By 4 pm, all channels would have sent their junior reporters to go and interview every person that they can find on the face of earth. India TV will show Judge Tahiliyani's dog frantically wagging his tail. 'टौमी ने भी अपनी ख़ुशी जाहिर की'.
By 6 pm, the channels will have caught hold of most politicians. They will be able to do this only now, since most of the politicians will be busy shouting in the parliament till then.
By 9 pm, Arnab Goswami will be foaming at his mouth, Barkha Dutt will be in fits, and Rajdeep Sardesai will be speechless. Because he would have shouted so much since evening. I hope he keeps a lot of cough lozenges with him. After all, we are all entitled to some entertainment, aren't we?
By 11 pm, all channels will be asking - what next? Will Kasab become another Afzal Guru?
And how can I forget. On IBN-Lokmat, Nikhil Wagle will have dislocated his elbow and shoulder joints by now due to his incessant and frantic gesturing.
And thus will end another day in the history of Indian news channels.
Note - As I type this, I completely feel the pain of each person who has lost a dear one in the carnage of 26/11. Kasab must be punished, no two ways about that. My intention is not to ridicule the Kasab trial. I am only commenting on how the news channels will respond.

Music talent shows getting in-authentic

Ever since Sonu Nigam brought SaReGaMaPa to us many years ago, there has been a flood of music talent hunt shows. Some good, some average, but many terrible. The record for the most pathetic one is surely held by Sony's 'Fame Gurukul' that came on sometime in 2004-05 if I remember correctly. It should have been named FAKE Gurukul, honestly.
Recently, the episode of Marathi SRGMP - Aajcha Awaaj - concluded and am I glad it did! It was simply going from bad to worse with every passing day. The last episode of Li'l champs was a super hit and I think Zee Marathi wanted to ride on that wave of success. Unfortunately, it boomeranged completely. It was nowhere close to the Li'l Champs. (It is another matter that the five eventual winners of Li'l champs are suffering from over-exposure now and are themselves going downhill - but that's a digression. i will write more about that some other day.)

If anyone wants proof of the deterioration in quality of the program - here's ample of it. The same song - sung by Shamika Bhide of Li'l Champs and by Vibhavari Joshi of Aajcha Awaaj. See and hear for yourself. Shamika is flawless. Ok, nearly. Yes, in the last stanza she has slipped once, at the words 'mrutyunjay veera' but I don't hold it against her. Consider her age.

And now compare it with Vibhavari's rendering of the same song. Don't forget that she is supposed to be an accomplished singer who performs regularly on stage. In this performance she only quivers along throughout the song - and guess what, the judges are full of praise for her ! I am convinced (and I know there are many others too) that these shows are rigged. I never expected any authentic honest judgment by Suresh Wadkar and Hridaynath Mangeshkar anyway. They were in the show only as a mutual admiration society. (for Hridaynath, it was self-admiration society) But Ashok Patki also??? I definitely expected better from him, really.

One thing that really ticks me off in these shows is this business of sms vote. Yes - I understand the economics behind it - but does it not make the whole thing a farce eventually? The judges (and I am NOT referring to Wadkar and Mangeshkar!) toil through all the episodes to select candidates based on merit and after all this - the award goes to someone who gets most sms. Thats silly. It renders the whole purpose of these shows meaningless. Of course - maybe the purpose of these shows in the first place is only to generate revenue for the cellular operators and TV channels, and not to search and appreciate good musical talent! That way, they are doing an admirable job.....

I must acknowledge the two kind souls who have uploaded these videos on YouTube - metab25 for Shamika's and Bipolbo for Vibhavari's. I don't know who they are - but thanks!