Fashion - Through Madhur Bhandarkar's Tinted Glasses

Swati keeps telling me that 'half truth is as bad as a lie'. (No prizes for guessing WHY she keeps reminding me of this!) Its a very sound thought, but Madhur Bhandarkar seems to be completely unaware of this. His latest flick - Fashion - is such a half truth about the fashion industry. Worse, its actually not even about fashion industry, its only about the world of modelling and fashion shows, which I think is only a small part of the fashion world. One review (I forget which) was absolutely right in saying that this movie should have been named 'Model' or maybe 'Supermodel' but it makes no sense naming it 'Fashion'.
Watching the movie is quite a pain, honestly. It feels like you are switching channels watching FTV and some silly tear-jerker soap. The inconsistencies are quite a thing, I must say. First of all, Madhur Bhandarkar would do well to go visit Chandigarh and interact with the girls out there. Not that I am an authority on Chandigarh girls, but I know enough about that city to know that the girls there can't be so dumb. Now, the leading lady Meghna Mathur (played by Priyanka Chopra - what a waste. I always thought she was talented!) is supposed to have won a beauty pageant already. How then is she so completely ignorant of some basic rules of a modelling contract ??? Come on Madhur, she is from Chandigarh, a happening city of India, not from Jhumri Talaiya !!
Some sequences don't make any sense at all. What was the need of that little cameo appearance of Konkona Sen and Ranvir, playing themselves? It didn't serve any purpose. Swati commented that Madhur probably wanted to show how dress designers bully their way into movies and impose their own opinions on even film stars. Really? Are we expected to believe THAT?
I have a dress designer friend who once jokingly said, "Yeah, all male fashion designers are gay. What a waste". She was joking. Mr. Bhandarkar - SHE WAS ONLY JOKING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
The movie is so full of stereotypes that it becomes all too predictable. The only thing that is not predictable is - when the interval is going to happen! Throughout the first half, you keep praying for the interval (because then you know that half of the movie is thankfully over!) The first half drags so much that you start wishing that the movie should simply end without the second half altogether. Thankfully, there is a break where you can go and get fortified popcorn and coffee and brace yourself for the torture that awaits you in the latter half.
I remarked to Vallarie - when is the wardrobe malfunction going to happen? When will Kangana Ranaut land up as a drug-addicted beggar on the streets, cutting a sorry figure? One could predict EVERYTHING. Why? I think I know why.
Madhur Bhandrakar seems to have perfected the art of picking up the current hot social topic and then make a movie out of it, claiming to show the 'real' picture to the audience whom he thinks are all stupid and gullible. So first Chandni Bar happened, then Page 3, then Corporate, and now Fashion. Unfortunately for us viewers, he is getting worse with every movie. What to expect from him next? Terrorism? Naxal movement? SEZs? Inflation? Global economic crisis? KSaas-Kbahu Kserials?
Madhur is like one of the five blind men trying to figure out what the elephant is like only by touching its tail, or trunk, or whatever. In this case, he seems to have only touched a picture of the elephant, of course blindfolded. His claims of having researched the topic thoroughly are hollow - that's the only thing that this movie proves.
The movie has no entertainment value either. Is there a message then, at least? Is Madhur trying to tell all parents not to let their precious daughters ever enter the world of modelling? Or is he warning the parents of all male fashion designers that their sons WILL become gay and turn effeminate too?
Lastly, his experience of making films for so many years starts becoming questionable. The gimmick of using his own film's reference in the movie is pathetic and amateurish, to say the least. (one model says to the other, 'isn't that Madhur? What's he doing here?' The other one replies - oh, he is researching the fashion field, must be making a movie.) What kind of self-fulfilling prophecy is this?
The saving grace of the movie is Kitu Gidwani, surely. Her portrayal of an impassionate, attached yet detached, professional Anisha Roy is praiseworthy. So is Kangna Ranaut's Shonali Gujral. I wish Kangna is chosen by some Director (not Ashutosh Gowariker or RGV!!! PLEEEEEEZZZZ) for some more substantial roles than what she has been getting like in Gangster, Life in a Metro....
All in all, a completely avoidable film. If you have 3 hours to kill and lots of money to spend - then spend it on anything else - it will be worthwhile.

A Wednesday

After missing it at least five times, I finally saw "A Wednesday" yesterday. The movie has received rave reviews all over and I am not going to repeat all that has been already said.
Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher - its tough to decide who's superior. I am sure the majority will vote for Naseer. But his role is such that it totally 'drives' the character. Anupam Kher on the other hand has to play a role which is itself caught between the person and his formal role. The underplayed tension and frustration of the person and firm purposive actions of his official role is a unique mix and only a Anupam Kher could have carried it off like that.
The editing and cinematography are both just perfect. And the Director (Neeraj Pandey) deserves the credit for staying away from the scourge of a majority of Hindi movies - that of converting a good plot into a three-hour chewing gum! (Ashutosh Gowariker, are you listening?) This movie is just the right length. Even when there are long sequences where nothing 'actually happens', it still retains its crisp edge-of-the-seat feel all through. Oh yes, Thank God there are no songs - item or otherwise!
One thing I was glad about - after many years, there is a movie which portrays our police neither as incompetent fools nor as bumbling pot-bellied comedy artists. Yes, our police are far from perfect, but then. One shouldn't forget that in spite of a multitude of problems, our country of a hundred million people RUNS. Hundreds of trains and aeroplanes carrying millions of passengers leave and reach on time. People go to office and earn money to raise their families. Their children go to school. Elections happen. At least some of the credit for all this goes to the police. One must not forget that behind every failure of the cops which get highlighted by the media, there must be at least a hundred success stories that go unreported. The cops in 'A Wednesday' are shown to be immensely tech savvy (although the hacker who is trying to help them does pity their outdated equipment). I can just hope that our real police are equally, if not more, tech savvy.
Sure, there are glitches in the movie. How does this man coolly leave his large bag right inside the police station loo and get away? That too, in these days of surveillance? How does he calmly rig up a bomb on the Juhu airport tarmac, even if its not a busy airport? Scores of Mumbai-ites will agree with me that Colaba to Malad and back in a Qualis takes a LONG time, and that Jimmy Shergill should be sent to Formula 1 races if he actually makes that journey in the time shown. But then, these questions don't take anything away from the movie.
In the end, while Naseer goes into a moving near-soliloquy, he doesn't fail to make a point and touch many a chord in the viewers. Nevertheless, an essential part of the movie IS very much a fantasy, and one does walk out with a 'but then, come on. This can't happen for real' kind of feeling. In any case, I don't think the Director is suggesting that someone emulates Naseer. He is making another point, which has been made by others too. The list of movies depicting a 'common man' making a difference are on the rise. Rang de Basanti showed this too, albeit in a much more dramatized fashion. Amir (the movie, not the Khan!) and for that matter even Taare Zamin Par have a similar message.
I am no sociologist, but this surely has a connection with the way India and Indians are evolving. Are the days of a Dharmendra or Amitabh-style superhero behind us? They too portrayed common (and angry) men, but their acts were highly uncommon. What's more, they were often highly impossible. The 'common stupid man' portrayed by Naseer may seem impossible, but then, who knows?